2016 is bringing our family more changes than I am ready for at the moment. My husband and I tell ourselves daily (moment by moment) that everything will be okay, he’s (we) resilient, we will survive, and especially “This Too Shall Pass”. Not sure how much I really believe that, but this I do know: God has everything in control, all I’m supposed to do is present information and LOVE him unconditionally, give him experiences, and pick him up when he falls. All of those are easier said than done (except love unconditionally), that’s not optional.
Let’s begin with experiences. I homeschooled him for 5 years through the elementary years and am VERY happy I did. He gained confidence in himself and his abilities without the overwhelming effects of dealing with other kids and everything that comes with that. He had the opportunity to find himself without being distracted with girls (oh my this is new territory). In his education he was able to solidify a base of knowledge, especially in math. In the beginning he wasn’t able to follow along with a short story much less give a narrative; in the end, he is able to completely give an overall synopsis (in his way) and he began to write down his own stories and write songs!! Whew! He did it! Last year he decided he wanted to go to public school. I completely appreciate when he is able to express his wants and needs; what great big giant accomplishments!!
This year, 2016, second year in AZ, he is in high school! Join me in the big scream and run away very very fast! So many kids, so many girls! Today is the first Monday of the first full week. The “intro” week was outstanding, he enjoys all of his classes, recognized a few kids from last year, recognized some from Special Olympics, and met a few new ones. I am so stinking proud of this kid! He is pushing forward like a trouper! On that note, he is in a class called “Transitions” which is about getting him prepared for a job. Hubby found a video on Facebook about a deli in Gilbert “Not Your Typical Deli.” To hubby, grandma, and me the experience for him was amazing! To T, well…not sure yet. He says cool, he says awesome, but it didn’t seem to encourage him like “we” thought. Yes, I know our perceptions are different then his and this was his experience, not ours.
I wish there was a brain button I can flip so I can see what he sees. I want to understand him so I can change the world! Yes, really, I want to change the world to see and understand autism in the fashion he does. I love this kid!
When it seems like he is full of hate and discontent, I have to remember there is so much going on in his brain that I will never understand. I need to give him space, but gently remind him he still has to do the non-negotiables.
I know everything is going to be okay. I know he is resilient. I know God’s got this. I need to love and guide and get out of the way.
The Nicci Chronicles 